Changes

I dont do change well.  Its funny. As much as my life changes, you'd think I'd just roll with it-but I dont.  It isnt the big changes that frighten me so much, its the little...subtle changes.  New things at work; a new program, a new boss, a new technique-these things throw me off and I have a hard time adapting.  Big things?  They dont freak me out much.  I dont care for them but I do ok.  A new job, a separation, divorce, etc...I can deal pretty well.
Some of this is my mental issues and I know this. It would help if I would take all my meds like Im supposed to.  Im doing better.  Ben has been very good about getting me on a schedule to take all my pills at 8pm every night...but I still forget at times.  I think I missed yesterdays and its after midnight tonight and I forgot tonight too...BUT  the Rangers are going to the World Series..so I forgot to take my meds...grrr
Ben lost his job today.  That is a big change.  Its going to affect both of us...him more than me but, well, Im selfish and I dont like change.  I like status quo.  Id like to just float along happily BLAH!  Life isnt like that.  It fluctuates and changes constantly.  Makes it interesting.  Some things I'd like to change?  The economy, my pay, where I live ( I really want a house of my own), my sons issues-Autism et all. Things I dont want changing?  My job, Ben's feelings for me, HIS job (tho it already changed).  Wow.  this is getting long and now its just boring.  Im glad I just write because I cant sleep.  
In the end, changes happen.  I have to cope with them.  I'll live with it.  Now, if I could only sleep.